Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
