Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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