You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
