you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Randomize
