your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
