I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
