U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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