theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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