Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
