White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
