sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
no you cant smoke seaweed
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
