Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
