he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
