At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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