Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
