i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
