The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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