u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
third nipple confirmed
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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