Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
