did you get engaged???
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
