are you still at the devil's house?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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