It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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