You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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