Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
