And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
