I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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