I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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