On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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