I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
