whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
