I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
