My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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