The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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