if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
