So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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