Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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