i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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