So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
