meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I intend to get homeless drunk
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
