You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
