i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
