I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
