just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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