dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
love makes seman taste better
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
