i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
