I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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