Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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