I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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