well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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