I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
