i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
